“Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.” These are the words from the legendary business leader, Steve Jobs. And he was right. Sometimes, life can be difficult, and things just don’t to be working according to our expectations. However, that doesn’t mean we need to be defeated by the challenges. As Jobs said, “Don’t lose faith”.
No matter who you are and where you are from, and regardless of your current life situation, whether you are dealing with a serious health issue, or if you are facing a breakup in your relationship, tough times are inevitable.
And that means you have to learn how to stay strong during the tough times so that you will gain the mental strength to overcome what’s in front of you rather than feeling anxious, pressured, and fill your mind with self-doubt.
No one likes to feel negative or being defeated by their life circumstances, but most people are unaware that they can take countermeasures to handle the tough times they face in life.
Here are the 5 things you can do to stay strong when you are facing challenging times in life…
1. Accept the reality
The first thing you need to do to stay strong in whatever tough situation you are facing is to accept the fact that things have happened. There is no point to stay in denial because denial won’t change the situation.
For instance, if you are feeling down because your relationship with your lover is breaking up, you need to take the courage and face the reality. When you accept the situation, you can then do something to fix it.
When you don’t accept reality, it simply means that you are not ready to accept the situation. And if you don’t accept it, you are not responsible. And when you don’t hold yourself responsible, you will never do anything about it.
This will only make the situation worse because you are living in denial. Hence, the first thing you need to do to stay strong is to accept the reality that bad things have happened and that you can still do something to turn it around.
2. Learn to control your responses
Next, learn to control your responses. Many years ago, I learned a powerful formula from Jack Canfield, the author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. This formula is “E + R = O”. Meaning, Event + Response = Outcome.
You certainly can’t control most of the events that happened in your life, but you can control your responses. And when you do that, you can alter the outcomes.
For example. You invested in the stock market and the economy turns south. You can’t control the event (economy), but you can control your responses by telling yourself something positive rather something negative and destructive.
You can tell yourself that it is a good investment lesson and you are glad that you didn’t get all your friends and people you love to invest together. The outcome then will be different. You become positive and you get something out of a negative event.
Can you see how powerful this formula is?
Thus, change your responses. Yes, you can’t control what happens to you, but you can control what goes into your head — your thoughts.
Choose to only think and focus on the positive. One more thing, as long as you learn something from a negative or bad event, you are growing and benefitting.
As Tony Robbins said, “Success in life is the result of good judgment. Good judgment is usually the result of experience. Experience is usually the result of bad judgment.”
3. Focus on the positive
Now that you understand you can control your responses, it is time to unleash the power of your focus.
What you focus on expands. When you focus and think about happy moments in the past, you feel deeply moved and happy. But when you focus and think about the sad moments in your life, you will feel sad.
Hence, it is what you choose to focus on that determines your mood. And so you want to focus on the good and positive side of everything.
I’m not suggesting you living in hallucination or trying to run away from all the problems in your life, but instead, I’m saying that you should focus on the positive — the solution.
Most people focus too much on their problems and they forget that there are solutions to everything. Extraordinary people are able to go through tough times and succeed because they focus on the solutions, not the problems.
And that’s exactly what you need to do. When you have a serious health issue, focus on what you can do to improve your well-being.
If you found out your business is going out of business, focus on the solutions. Stop thinking about how bad it is when your business goes bust, instead, focus on what you can do, not what’s going to happen if you go bankrupt.
4. Reframe the problems
Napoleon Hill has a great saying, “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” And what you believe is what you are going to see.
In other words, when life gets tough and you choose to look at it as a problem, then guess what, you will have a problem. Because you choose to believe it to be so.
And what you can do is to reframe the problems. As Napoleon Hill said, there is a seed of benefit in every adversity or problem. You just need to reframe the situation.
For example, if you fall sick, take it as a signal that your body is telling you to take care of your well-being. Luckily you just fall sick and not suffer some serious illness. Take it from a positive perspective.
What if you got fired from your work? Well, reframe the situation and take it as an opportunity to start the business you have desired for so long.
What if you lost your relationship? I know it hurts, but reframe it and take it as a chance to meet the right soulmate and an opportunity to enjoy the single life again.
When asked about his 10,000 failures, Thomas Edison said that he didn’t fail, he simply found 10,000 ways that don’t work. That’s how he reframed his problems and looked at them from a positive point of view.
5. Get help and ask for support
What if you tried everything and it doesn’t work? Well, seek help and ask for support. Many people have gone through similar or even worse situations than you in life. And they can provide some inspiration and support.
Reading personal development books and biographies of people you admire helps too. And try to open up yourself rather than hiding all alone. When you talk to someone positive and supportive enough, you will feel better after that.
And if things are getting more serious or out of your hands, get the advice from the experts. Consult a specialist for help. There are many ways how you can overcome tough times in life, and you don’t have to face it alone.
About the Author
Shawn Lim is the creator of StunningMotivation.com and he’s a passionate blogger in the personal development industry who has inspired thousands to pursue their dreams and follow their passions. You can learn more about him plus download a free copy of his guidebook, Reach Your Goals on his website.
